Almost all the letters I get from Scanners after reading Refuse To Choose (aka What Do I Do When I Want To Do Everything? in Australia, England & some other mystery locations) are heartwarming. You can see them over at amazon.com if you read the reviews (my favorite reading on the internet - even for other people's books).
But sometimes I get cranky letters.
Now, I love Scanners. They've been horribly misunderstood and blamed themselves for being undisciplined or lazy, and there's nothing I love better than having them find out there's nothing wrong with them at all! Far from it. On a tip I was asked to search the internet for Gifted Adults and found a mass of psychiatric literature about people with the exact same characteristics as Scanners. That's good enough for me. I knew curiosity was a sign of intelligence, so I was halfway there already.
So when Scanners have problems I want to be the hero that can fix them. It's gratifying because I know they've been attacked and unable to defend themselves for a long time. And I know that, after a while, those attacks come from themselves. They beat themselves up because they can't 'stick to anything,' or 'give up when the hard work shows up.'
And I answer them by saying, 'Scanners don't find anything too hard to do except consent to be bored. When the learning ends, Scanners are finished and ready to leave. They're like designers. It's a bad use of their gifts to execute and maintain.'
And I can almost hear them breathe a sigh of relief.
But sometimes I get a letter from a reader that makes me think, Wait a minute. What did you read? The dust cover? I still try to help, but I can't resist twisting people's shorts, just a little.
Like this letter I got today:
On Mar 13, 2010, at 12:05 PM
City: Jackson
State: MI
Country: United States
Permission: OK to publish
Date: 3/13/2010 11:05:45 AM
Question: Hello, I just finished your book Refuse to Choose. I was stunned at the very beginning as I realized that I am a scanner. Problem is what the heck do I do with it? I started a day book but write down ideas I never intend to do anything with. I realize you say I don't have to but what's the point? I don't think I can exist on just ideas. I want to do something! I would like to find something to do that is fun and I can make money with it. I guess my dream is to be self-employed, being paid to do fun stuff, which for me lasts about 10 minutes. R.
So I answered:
From: Barbara Sher
Date: March 13, 2010 12:31:41 PM EST
To: R
Hi R.
You said: I don't think I can exist on just ideas. I want to do something!
Didn't you see the Epilogue: "Your Best Work" about how you should (and a step by step guide showing how you can) finish one important thing (even if you lose interest) and even throw a party for its completion?
You said: I would like to find something to do that is fun and I can make money with it.
Did you miss the many chapters that give you lists of ways the nine types of Scanners can earn an income and never get bored? To say nothing of Appendix A (with Jobs for people who love travel, to learn, to solve problems, to share ideas, etc. etc.) Or everyone's favorite: the LTTL System: Learn, Try, Teach, Leave.
You said: ... fun stuff...for me lasts about 10 minutes
Didn't you catch the part about 'The High-Speed Indecisives' who make loads of money having fun getting sales forces all excited about new items because they are -- for a short time -- all excited about these new items themselves?
Why do I get the feeling you didn't really read my book?
Or, you only read the beginning? Or just flipped through it?
Give it another try and send me some real questions, and maybe I'll be able to help.
Barbara Sher
Well, that's not so nice. But what the hell is the point of getting to be almost 75 if you can't smack somebody on the hand once in awhile?
Showing posts with label Scanner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scanner. Show all posts
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Why can’t scanners stick to anything? Why won’t they make up their minds? Do they fear commitment? Do they have learning disabilities? Are they hopelessly immature, shallow, afraid of hard work?
If not, why don’t they do something about it? Having so many interests is difficult by itself. Being criticized by people who don’t understand, and being worried themselves that they’ll never accomplish anything is not a great feeling. Until you understand what makes a you tick, the stress can be overwhelming.
So why don’t Scanners do something about it? They do. At least, they try.
Most Scanners really try. Many go to career testing services but, for the most part, the expectation is that they’ll use their greatest talent to follow a path of specialization. But that doesn’t work with a scanner:
“On every aptitude test I come out above average on everything, there is no one outstanding peak - they are all pretty high. This can be really difficult as I never know what to choose.”
Counselors explain that their clients have to choose a direction or they can’t take another step. But Scanners can’t choose one direction. It’s like telling a parent to choose one child to feed. It’s just not possible. A parent will find a way to feed all her children. And a Scanner is driven to follow every path that interests her. There’s nothing else a Scanner can do.
There are at least three reasons for this:
First, Scanners can’t have fewer interests. They’re designed to do more. Holding them back is like tying an athlete to a chair.
One woman said it clearly:
"I need my entire “system” of mind and body to be completely used. I enjoy doing different things at the same time. I feel good when my body is working at its limits. My mind is only happy when I'm learning different things at the same time. If I have to slow down or use only one part of me at a time, I get bored, worse than bored – I feel like a part of me is dying on the vine.”
Second, Scanners don’t want fewer interests. They light up when they see new things and want to investigate them. But, you might protest, we all want 5 desserts after dinner too, but we don’t get them, we grow up, you control ourselves, right? Wrong. Scanners want it all not because they’re spoiled, but for the same reason all your muscles, not just your arms or your legs, want exercise. They love variety because they have brains that process experience quickly and are ready for new subjects sooner than others. They have special abilities in many areas, they’re built to use them. That’s why somewhere inside a Scanner, although they hate to be stuck and don’t know how to justify their behavior, they secretly refuse to choose. They know they’re being stubborn. What they don’t know is that this stubbornness comes from intinctive integrity.
Third, a Scanner sticks his nose into many areas because he can. Scanners are smart and multi-talented, they’re divergent thinkers who don’t want to narrow the universe down to one formula but would rather help expand it. They don't typically need as much stability as most people because they're as secure as small children and just as curious. While most adults find change disruptive, even threatening, scanners thrive on it. They don’t mind being beginners as much as most adults, and while some are driven to master an an interest, as soon as they do, at least to their satisfaction, they're finished with it. The part that mattered to them is over.
What draws a Scanner, and why do they move on before they’re finished? What makes a Scanner tick?
Well, you could say they're a lot like bees when they go after honey.
REWARD AND DURATION
Whenever someone tells me a scanner lacks focus, loses interest too easily, can’t find their passion or make up their minds what they want to do, I ask them to consider the honeybee. I’m pretty sure no one in his right mind would ever accuse a bee of lacking focus or losing interest too easily. No one says bees can’t make up their minds which flower they want to be involved with or that they seem unable to find their true passion. We assume that when a bee leaves a flower, it’s got a compelling reason to do so. Plain and simple, if it stayed at a flower for two seconds or twenty seconds, we understand it needed that amount of time to get what it came for.
Any bee that stayed at a flower after it had emptied it of nectar would be seen as derelict in its duties. When it comes to passion, I think we’d all agree that a bee seems very dedicated to its task — but it’s not passionate about any one flower, it’s passionate about gathering nectar. If you missed that point, you’d really misunderstand a honeybee.
In his heart every scanner feels the same as a honeybee about what he’s doing. But we’re not in the habit of thinking about it the same way. We simply assume that Scanner's have a problem if they don't devote themselves to a single specialty as long as we believe they should - usually for their adult lifetime or at least until the job is ‘finished.’
But if we don’t know why the Scanner is involved with this subject, we really have no way of knowing when he's finished. We can’t pretend to be helping Scanners to develop their considerable talents unless we’re willing to grant them the same benefit of the doubt we give a honeybee.
Somebody's sure to ask if this is why they get tired of relationships so fast; maybe being a Scanner is the reason they don't want to stick with anyone very long. The short and simple answer to that one, at least in the many cases I've investigated, is no. First, because in each case their are so many other reasons for the problem. Second because many people who ask the question aren't Scanners at all. And third, because I've queried many Scanners and most of them say they want one thing in their lives to be stable -- preferably their source of affection and companionship.
I'll talk more about that another time, but for now, don't bother explaining Tiger Woods' behavior by saying he's a Scanner. No way he's a Scanner :-) And don't fill up the comments with questions about that when I really want to answer other questions about Scanners. Or have I just told you to ignore the elephant in the room. Sigh.
Incidenetally, it never comes up at a Scanner retreat, even the ones we have in France :-) You can find out about the next one at geniuspress.com or ask me here.
If not, why don’t they do something about it? Having so many interests is difficult by itself. Being criticized by people who don’t understand, and being worried themselves that they’ll never accomplish anything is not a great feeling. Until you understand what makes a you tick, the stress can be overwhelming.
So why don’t Scanners do something about it? They do. At least, they try.
Most Scanners really try. Many go to career testing services but, for the most part, the expectation is that they’ll use their greatest talent to follow a path of specialization. But that doesn’t work with a scanner:
“On every aptitude test I come out above average on everything, there is no one outstanding peak - they are all pretty high. This can be really difficult as I never know what to choose.”
Counselors explain that their clients have to choose a direction or they can’t take another step. But Scanners can’t choose one direction. It’s like telling a parent to choose one child to feed. It’s just not possible. A parent will find a way to feed all her children. And a Scanner is driven to follow every path that interests her. There’s nothing else a Scanner can do.
There are at least three reasons for this:
First, Scanners can’t have fewer interests. They’re designed to do more. Holding them back is like tying an athlete to a chair.
One woman said it clearly:
"I need my entire “system” of mind and body to be completely used. I enjoy doing different things at the same time. I feel good when my body is working at its limits. My mind is only happy when I'm learning different things at the same time. If I have to slow down or use only one part of me at a time, I get bored, worse than bored – I feel like a part of me is dying on the vine.”
Second, Scanners don’t want fewer interests. They light up when they see new things and want to investigate them. But, you might protest, we all want 5 desserts after dinner too, but we don’t get them, we grow up, you control ourselves, right? Wrong. Scanners want it all not because they’re spoiled, but for the same reason all your muscles, not just your arms or your legs, want exercise. They love variety because they have brains that process experience quickly and are ready for new subjects sooner than others. They have special abilities in many areas, they’re built to use them. That’s why somewhere inside a Scanner, although they hate to be stuck and don’t know how to justify their behavior, they secretly refuse to choose. They know they’re being stubborn. What they don’t know is that this stubbornness comes from intinctive integrity.
Third, a Scanner sticks his nose into many areas because he can. Scanners are smart and multi-talented, they’re divergent thinkers who don’t want to narrow the universe down to one formula but would rather help expand it. They don't typically need as much stability as most people because they're as secure as small children and just as curious. While most adults find change disruptive, even threatening, scanners thrive on it. They don’t mind being beginners as much as most adults, and while some are driven to master an an interest, as soon as they do, at least to their satisfaction, they're finished with it. The part that mattered to them is over.
What draws a Scanner, and why do they move on before they’re finished? What makes a Scanner tick?
Well, you could say they're a lot like bees when they go after honey.
REWARD AND DURATION
Whenever someone tells me a scanner lacks focus, loses interest too easily, can’t find their passion or make up their minds what they want to do, I ask them to consider the honeybee. I’m pretty sure no one in his right mind would ever accuse a bee of lacking focus or losing interest too easily. No one says bees can’t make up their minds which flower they want to be involved with or that they seem unable to find their true passion. We assume that when a bee leaves a flower, it’s got a compelling reason to do so. Plain and simple, if it stayed at a flower for two seconds or twenty seconds, we understand it needed that amount of time to get what it came for.
Any bee that stayed at a flower after it had emptied it of nectar would be seen as derelict in its duties. When it comes to passion, I think we’d all agree that a bee seems very dedicated to its task — but it’s not passionate about any one flower, it’s passionate about gathering nectar. If you missed that point, you’d really misunderstand a honeybee.
In his heart every scanner feels the same as a honeybee about what he’s doing. But we’re not in the habit of thinking about it the same way. We simply assume that Scanner's have a problem if they don't devote themselves to a single specialty as long as we believe they should - usually for their adult lifetime or at least until the job is ‘finished.’
But if we don’t know why the Scanner is involved with this subject, we really have no way of knowing when he's finished. We can’t pretend to be helping Scanners to develop their considerable talents unless we’re willing to grant them the same benefit of the doubt we give a honeybee.
Somebody's sure to ask if this is why they get tired of relationships so fast; maybe being a Scanner is the reason they don't want to stick with anyone very long. The short and simple answer to that one, at least in the many cases I've investigated, is no. First, because in each case their are so many other reasons for the problem. Second because many people who ask the question aren't Scanners at all. And third, because I've queried many Scanners and most of them say they want one thing in their lives to be stable -- preferably their source of affection and companionship.
I'll talk more about that another time, but for now, don't bother explaining Tiger Woods' behavior by saying he's a Scanner. No way he's a Scanner :-) And don't fill up the comments with questions about that when I really want to answer other questions about Scanners. Or have I just told you to ignore the elephant in the room. Sigh.
Incidenetally, it never comes up at a Scanner retreat, even the ones we have in France :-) You can find out about the next one at geniuspress.com or ask me here.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Why did you just quit your job?
I always believe in playing it safe, using your job to support your exploration into something that suits you better. But I understand what makes a multi-talented person suddenly decide to walk away from what looks like a secure job.
Just got this letter today (my answer is below it):
...........................................................
Name: BB
State: oh
Permission: OK to publish
Date: 8/26/2009 10:25:58 AM
Question: Hello Barbara, Reading your third book [I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was] was extremely inspirational. The fact that I am not alone is inspiring in itself. However, I still do not have a clue where to begin. I couldn't even decide if I'm a scanner or a diver, let alone tackle my life. I am 44 years old just quit my teaching career simply because I was afraid to retire a teacher. I was afraid that I would get stuck and that when I woke up it would be too late. I was afraid to not give my self the opportunity to do what I really want to do, which I have yet to find out.
Yes, I know it was stupid to leave a job for nothing, but I was anxious! I refused to continue being a prisoner. I am 'Jack of all trades - master of none'! Please help! BB
.......................................................
Hi BB
You might want to head over to a podcast I did about Scanners at www.geniuspress.com and listen to it. If you find that you're really a Scanner, you can talk to many of your fellow Scanners on two of my bulletin boards. [www.barbarasher.com/boards and www.scannersrefusetochoose.com] Get back to me and I'll give you instructions.
After that, you should head to a bookstore and find my latest book. Refuse To Choose -- it's about nothing but Scanners and could show you a path to take that could turn out to be very satisfying. Sit down with a cup of coffee and read a bit of it before you buy it. You'll know if it's right for you.
Let me say, I understand your fears from your words here. Like so many people, especially Scanners, you sense a lot more inside of you than your job allows you to use. As the years pass, you start to feel smothered, like you're having what someone called 'a near-life experience.'
It's a funny way to say it, but the experience is not funny at all. Back when I had what I think is the same feeling, I did made some very impractical decisions, too. My life was difficult for some years because of that, but not nearly as difficult as it would have been had I stayed where I was. And it all turned out very well. I built a life that suited me. I've never regretted it for a moment.
So the first step is: find out if you're a Scanner on the podcast at www.geniuspress.com. (Calling yourself a Jack of All Trades is a pretty strong clue in that direction.) Once you know that, I've set up lots of opportunities to talk to your fellow Scanners and start to build a life that will suit you.
Good luck,
Barbara Sher
On Aug 26, 2009, at 10:25 AM, webmaster@smarttrac.com wrote:
Just got this letter today (my answer is below it):
...........................................................
Name: BB
State: oh
Permission: OK to publish
Date: 8/26/2009 10:25:58 AM
Question: Hello Barbara, Reading your third book [I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was] was extremely inspirational. The fact that I am not alone is inspiring in itself. However, I still do not have a clue where to begin. I couldn't even decide if I'm a scanner or a diver, let alone tackle my life. I am 44 years old just quit my teaching career simply because I was afraid to retire a teacher. I was afraid that I would get stuck and that when I woke up it would be too late. I was afraid to not give my self the opportunity to do what I really want to do, which I have yet to find out.
Yes, I know it was stupid to leave a job for nothing, but I was anxious! I refused to continue being a prisoner. I am 'Jack of all trades - master of none'! Please help! BB
.......................................................
Hi BB
You might want to head over to a podcast I did about Scanners at www.geniuspress.com and listen to it. If you find that you're really a Scanner, you can talk to many of your fellow Scanners on two of my bulletin boards. [www.barbarasher.com/boards and www.scannersrefusetochoose.com] Get back to me and I'll give you instructions.
After that, you should head to a bookstore and find my latest book. Refuse To Choose -- it's about nothing but Scanners and could show you a path to take that could turn out to be very satisfying. Sit down with a cup of coffee and read a bit of it before you buy it. You'll know if it's right for you.
Let me say, I understand your fears from your words here. Like so many people, especially Scanners, you sense a lot more inside of you than your job allows you to use. As the years pass, you start to feel smothered, like you're having what someone called 'a near-life experience.'
It's a funny way to say it, but the experience is not funny at all. Back when I had what I think is the same feeling, I did made some very impractical decisions, too. My life was difficult for some years because of that, but not nearly as difficult as it would have been had I stayed where I was. And it all turned out very well. I built a life that suited me. I've never regretted it for a moment.
So the first step is: find out if you're a Scanner on the podcast at www.geniuspress.com. (Calling yourself a Jack of All Trades is a pretty strong clue in that direction.) Once you know that, I've set up lots of opportunities to talk to your fellow Scanners and start to build a life that will suit you.
Good luck,
Barbara Sher
On Aug 26, 2009, at 10:25 AM, webmaster@smarttrac.com wrote:
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