There's another Scanner retreat coming up in France in April (6 - 11) and I just visited the hotel and the medieval village where we'll be holding it. Oh boy that food is good. Never mind. Here's what the retreat's about and a powerful letter from someone who realized he might not be a Scanner after all. Because mistaken identity will mess up a beautiful plan your DNA has set up for you and leave you unhappy and unproductive whether you're multi-talented and love to do everything (a Scanner) or you're a specialist in Scanner disguise who has avoided going deeply into what you love (a Diver).
I knew I was a Scanner long before I came up with the name in I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What it Was. I love to do so many things that I spent years figuring out how to do them all (and earn a living at the same time). I developed so many systems to show different types of I had most of the steps right. But running 7 retreats and interviewing hundreds of Scanners for my book, Refuse To Choose, has taught me so much more.
The Scanner retreat has evolved so much. We still help each Scanner get what he or she needs -- a goal, a direction, a plan, and personal work on their own brand of resistance -- so the power of the retreat continues even after they've returned home. But nothing is more important to me than making sure every single Scanner leaves my retreat with all the right tools and skills so they can stay on course after the retreat ends. That takes time and careful work which is why I started doing 5-day retreats in the first place, and why I keep them very small.
But in the last three years I've added so many new elements that I should change the name to Scanner Workshop. Discoveries that will surprise you, new skills you never knew existed, pinpointing your dream -- all of this is a revelation for a Scanner. Of course, brainstorming a plan for your future with Scanners (and me :-) -- each of whom has knowledge in dozens of fields -- is its own kind of heaven.
I've started to talk about the inevitable ups and downs of going after any dream. and what the 'high' of excitement is really for, why we always crash (and should!), and how that's just the beginning. Once that light bulb goes on for you, going after a dream will never feel the same.
Some of you will learn even more. Depending on who wants and needs it, there's often a brief course in understanding your feelings and discovering how old the child inside you is who is afraid to dream.
And this time, depending on who attends the retreat, we may even help you figure out if you're really a thwarted Diver, like this wonderful person who just wrote me yesterday:
On Jan 9, 2010, at 4:49 PM, MM wrote:
Hello again Barbara,
You know when you read something that hits so close to home it just really shakes you up? Well, you seem to have done it again. I read something in "I Could Do Anything..." that stopped me in my tracks. I haven't been able to read beyond it because I keep reading it over and over and considering it from so many angles. I'm not sure I need to read any further.
Among many other significant points you raise in you section on Divers on page 116 you say, "Only sustained effort will develop the mastery that an unhappy diver really craves. Always feeling like amateurs, but sensing their considerable talent, these people are caught in a nightmare of self-evaluation: Am I a genius or am I a fool? That seesaw thinking is a painful mistake people make when they haven't worked enough."
I'm not embarrassed to say tears came to my eyes when I read that. It couldn't describe my feelings and my patterns any better. And you know what else? I've been thinking for a while now that I was a scanner but now I'm almost certain that I've been a diver all along and even used the scanner label to dodge the truth of what you said about divers. I used it as an excuse to not work harder. I am caught in a wicked circle of self-sabotage and self-evaluation and it has stolen years of valuable time. I'm going to take your 30-day commitment and turn it into a 30-year commitment.
Thanks so much - yet again - for your wisdom and insight.
MM
If that rings any bells, I'd love to hear your comments and questions. I haven't talked much about Divers for awhile, but because of this letter, I'm going to be doing some search and rescue work for Divers as well as Scanners in the next retreat this coming April.
The April retreat is filling up faster than I expected. I don't send out newsletters that include marketing anymore, as you probably know: it's here on the blogs or maybe at www.geniuspress.com or nowhere. But if you want to be there, you'd best head over and save your space.
Showing posts with label dilettante. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dilettante. Show all posts
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Why can’t scanners stick to anything? Why won’t they make up their minds? Do they fear commitment? Do they have learning disabilities? Are they hopelessly immature, shallow, afraid of hard work?
If not, why don’t they do something about it? Having so many interests is difficult by itself. Being criticized by people who don’t understand, and being worried themselves that they’ll never accomplish anything is not a great feeling. Until you understand what makes a you tick, the stress can be overwhelming.
So why don’t Scanners do something about it? They do. At least, they try.
Most Scanners really try. Many go to career testing services but, for the most part, the expectation is that they’ll use their greatest talent to follow a path of specialization. But that doesn’t work with a scanner:
“On every aptitude test I come out above average on everything, there is no one outstanding peak - they are all pretty high. This can be really difficult as I never know what to choose.”
Counselors explain that their clients have to choose a direction or they can’t take another step. But Scanners can’t choose one direction. It’s like telling a parent to choose one child to feed. It’s just not possible. A parent will find a way to feed all her children. And a Scanner is driven to follow every path that interests her. There’s nothing else a Scanner can do.
There are at least three reasons for this:
First, Scanners can’t have fewer interests. They’re designed to do more. Holding them back is like tying an athlete to a chair.
One woman said it clearly:
"I need my entire “system” of mind and body to be completely used. I enjoy doing different things at the same time. I feel good when my body is working at its limits. My mind is only happy when I'm learning different things at the same time. If I have to slow down or use only one part of me at a time, I get bored, worse than bored – I feel like a part of me is dying on the vine.”
Second, Scanners don’t want fewer interests. They light up when they see new things and want to investigate them. But, you might protest, we all want 5 desserts after dinner too, but we don’t get them, we grow up, you control ourselves, right? Wrong. Scanners want it all not because they’re spoiled, but for the same reason all your muscles, not just your arms or your legs, want exercise. They love variety because they have brains that process experience quickly and are ready for new subjects sooner than others. They have special abilities in many areas, they’re built to use them. That’s why somewhere inside a Scanner, although they hate to be stuck and don’t know how to justify their behavior, they secretly refuse to choose. They know they’re being stubborn. What they don’t know is that this stubbornness comes from intinctive integrity.
Third, a Scanner sticks his nose into many areas because he can. Scanners are smart and multi-talented, they’re divergent thinkers who don’t want to narrow the universe down to one formula but would rather help expand it. They don't typically need as much stability as most people because they're as secure as small children and just as curious. While most adults find change disruptive, even threatening, scanners thrive on it. They don’t mind being beginners as much as most adults, and while some are driven to master an an interest, as soon as they do, at least to their satisfaction, they're finished with it. The part that mattered to them is over.
What draws a Scanner, and why do they move on before they’re finished? What makes a Scanner tick?
Well, you could say they're a lot like bees when they go after honey.
REWARD AND DURATION
Whenever someone tells me a scanner lacks focus, loses interest too easily, can’t find their passion or make up their minds what they want to do, I ask them to consider the honeybee. I’m pretty sure no one in his right mind would ever accuse a bee of lacking focus or losing interest too easily. No one says bees can’t make up their minds which flower they want to be involved with or that they seem unable to find their true passion. We assume that when a bee leaves a flower, it’s got a compelling reason to do so. Plain and simple, if it stayed at a flower for two seconds or twenty seconds, we understand it needed that amount of time to get what it came for.
Any bee that stayed at a flower after it had emptied it of nectar would be seen as derelict in its duties. When it comes to passion, I think we’d all agree that a bee seems very dedicated to its task — but it’s not passionate about any one flower, it’s passionate about gathering nectar. If you missed that point, you’d really misunderstand a honeybee.
In his heart every scanner feels the same as a honeybee about what he’s doing. But we’re not in the habit of thinking about it the same way. We simply assume that Scanner's have a problem if they don't devote themselves to a single specialty as long as we believe they should - usually for their adult lifetime or at least until the job is ‘finished.’
But if we don’t know why the Scanner is involved with this subject, we really have no way of knowing when he's finished. We can’t pretend to be helping Scanners to develop their considerable talents unless we’re willing to grant them the same benefit of the doubt we give a honeybee.
Somebody's sure to ask if this is why they get tired of relationships so fast; maybe being a Scanner is the reason they don't want to stick with anyone very long. The short and simple answer to that one, at least in the many cases I've investigated, is no. First, because in each case their are so many other reasons for the problem. Second because many people who ask the question aren't Scanners at all. And third, because I've queried many Scanners and most of them say they want one thing in their lives to be stable -- preferably their source of affection and companionship.
I'll talk more about that another time, but for now, don't bother explaining Tiger Woods' behavior by saying he's a Scanner. No way he's a Scanner :-) And don't fill up the comments with questions about that when I really want to answer other questions about Scanners. Or have I just told you to ignore the elephant in the room. Sigh.
Incidenetally, it never comes up at a Scanner retreat, even the ones we have in France :-) You can find out about the next one at geniuspress.com or ask me here.
If not, why don’t they do something about it? Having so many interests is difficult by itself. Being criticized by people who don’t understand, and being worried themselves that they’ll never accomplish anything is not a great feeling. Until you understand what makes a you tick, the stress can be overwhelming.
So why don’t Scanners do something about it? They do. At least, they try.
Most Scanners really try. Many go to career testing services but, for the most part, the expectation is that they’ll use their greatest talent to follow a path of specialization. But that doesn’t work with a scanner:
“On every aptitude test I come out above average on everything, there is no one outstanding peak - they are all pretty high. This can be really difficult as I never know what to choose.”
Counselors explain that their clients have to choose a direction or they can’t take another step. But Scanners can’t choose one direction. It’s like telling a parent to choose one child to feed. It’s just not possible. A parent will find a way to feed all her children. And a Scanner is driven to follow every path that interests her. There’s nothing else a Scanner can do.
There are at least three reasons for this:
First, Scanners can’t have fewer interests. They’re designed to do more. Holding them back is like tying an athlete to a chair.
One woman said it clearly:
"I need my entire “system” of mind and body to be completely used. I enjoy doing different things at the same time. I feel good when my body is working at its limits. My mind is only happy when I'm learning different things at the same time. If I have to slow down or use only one part of me at a time, I get bored, worse than bored – I feel like a part of me is dying on the vine.”
Second, Scanners don’t want fewer interests. They light up when they see new things and want to investigate them. But, you might protest, we all want 5 desserts after dinner too, but we don’t get them, we grow up, you control ourselves, right? Wrong. Scanners want it all not because they’re spoiled, but for the same reason all your muscles, not just your arms or your legs, want exercise. They love variety because they have brains that process experience quickly and are ready for new subjects sooner than others. They have special abilities in many areas, they’re built to use them. That’s why somewhere inside a Scanner, although they hate to be stuck and don’t know how to justify their behavior, they secretly refuse to choose. They know they’re being stubborn. What they don’t know is that this stubbornness comes from intinctive integrity.
Third, a Scanner sticks his nose into many areas because he can. Scanners are smart and multi-talented, they’re divergent thinkers who don’t want to narrow the universe down to one formula but would rather help expand it. They don't typically need as much stability as most people because they're as secure as small children and just as curious. While most adults find change disruptive, even threatening, scanners thrive on it. They don’t mind being beginners as much as most adults, and while some are driven to master an an interest, as soon as they do, at least to their satisfaction, they're finished with it. The part that mattered to them is over.
What draws a Scanner, and why do they move on before they’re finished? What makes a Scanner tick?
Well, you could say they're a lot like bees when they go after honey.
REWARD AND DURATION
Whenever someone tells me a scanner lacks focus, loses interest too easily, can’t find their passion or make up their minds what they want to do, I ask them to consider the honeybee. I’m pretty sure no one in his right mind would ever accuse a bee of lacking focus or losing interest too easily. No one says bees can’t make up their minds which flower they want to be involved with or that they seem unable to find their true passion. We assume that when a bee leaves a flower, it’s got a compelling reason to do so. Plain and simple, if it stayed at a flower for two seconds or twenty seconds, we understand it needed that amount of time to get what it came for.
Any bee that stayed at a flower after it had emptied it of nectar would be seen as derelict in its duties. When it comes to passion, I think we’d all agree that a bee seems very dedicated to its task — but it’s not passionate about any one flower, it’s passionate about gathering nectar. If you missed that point, you’d really misunderstand a honeybee.
In his heart every scanner feels the same as a honeybee about what he’s doing. But we’re not in the habit of thinking about it the same way. We simply assume that Scanner's have a problem if they don't devote themselves to a single specialty as long as we believe they should - usually for their adult lifetime or at least until the job is ‘finished.’
But if we don’t know why the Scanner is involved with this subject, we really have no way of knowing when he's finished. We can’t pretend to be helping Scanners to develop their considerable talents unless we’re willing to grant them the same benefit of the doubt we give a honeybee.
Somebody's sure to ask if this is why they get tired of relationships so fast; maybe being a Scanner is the reason they don't want to stick with anyone very long. The short and simple answer to that one, at least in the many cases I've investigated, is no. First, because in each case their are so many other reasons for the problem. Second because many people who ask the question aren't Scanners at all. And third, because I've queried many Scanners and most of them say they want one thing in their lives to be stable -- preferably their source of affection and companionship.
I'll talk more about that another time, but for now, don't bother explaining Tiger Woods' behavior by saying he's a Scanner. No way he's a Scanner :-) And don't fill up the comments with questions about that when I really want to answer other questions about Scanners. Or have I just told you to ignore the elephant in the room. Sigh.
Incidenetally, it never comes up at a Scanner retreat, even the ones we have in France :-) You can find out about the next one at geniuspress.com or ask me here.
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